alone

I havent felt this alone in a long time. I feel like ive lost everything just to gain love. Ive lost my friends, my family, my independence, my sanity...ive lost all the things that once made me me and now all thats left are the things you choose to love. The things you are willing to accept about me. I feel so lost, so alone, and abandoned and i dont know how to change it. we can only be with each other and  their for each other so much before driving each other insane. i gave you your outlet and your escape but i left my self with nothing. i gave you everything i had to give and now im left with emptiness, hurt, disappointment. none of it your fault, mainly my own. i should have said no, i should have stopped you when you asked me to give up so much. i dont know what i was thinking doing that. i understand thats how you like to live your life but it doesnt mean its how i like to live mine. i know you like to live your life secluded and alone, hidden from the world, but i like to make a difference to be apart of others lives and make my presences known. i thought that was part of what you loved about me. i thought thats why you wanted to be with me because this in turn encouraged you to get out more, to live more, have more adventures, be open. i guess i was wrong. i just wish i wouldnt have lost all my friends first before i figured all this out. now its just me. no one to talk to, no one to laugh with...just me.